dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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