I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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