I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
