Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
They are going to name an STD after you.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
