also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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