The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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