I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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