Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize