I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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