how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
