I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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