...so i touched it.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
