i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
