just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
