ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
