I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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