I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
