i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
