I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My butt remains clenched, sir.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
