Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
