You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
