Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
