No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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