there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
