No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
