Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I am naked and annoyed.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
