did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I want to be your penis for a week.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
