piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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