I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
