I don't think brook has ever known best
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
