id be glad to
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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