So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
