There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Holy sore nipples Batman
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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