her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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