Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
