He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This is classic penis vs brain.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
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