Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
