I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
