It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
