im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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