I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
