no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
