So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
