it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
