sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
