There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You were trust falling into bushes
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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