Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
