these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
