I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
