I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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