my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
