I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
