Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she peed on how many people?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize