i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
