i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
