That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
