I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
