good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
