I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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