My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
