she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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