Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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