Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
