you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
