Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
