all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
