my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
